I wish I knew then, what I know now.

Ok so now that i can get back into this Mindsay thing... As of yesterday, I just filed for divorce. I only wish i had done it sooner. I have never been happier in my life to get out of such a damaging relationship..  Now my goals are to get an appartment of my own, get my kids back from health and welfare and keep a steady and stable environment to reaise my kids in.  How often is it that you get the chance start something over? Well I did! I never thought it would happen, but this guy i used to date right as i graduated highschool, just came back into my life and wanting to pick things up from where we left off.  You know how long I have been waiting for this day to come? Ever since the day that we broke up. I had been married and had two kids and was not happy at all... Now I am..

 

I might spend the rest of my life with this guy... is a bad that I just come out of  3 years of a horrible marriage and i have been seperated for almost two months now... and i am already wanting to get in another one? Does anybody see anything wrong with this picture?  He was wanting to move our relationship to the next level before my dumb self decided to go to Florida to see my mother.. I probably would have been married to him instead.  This come out of his mouth.  If anyone is reading this please give me soem feedback, i need it.

Ok well it's now 2010 and a lot has changed. I now have a facebook, myspace and mindsay, that's all I plan to have. I have another child now A baby girl she is now 4 1/2 months old feel free to go to my myspace and take a peak. She's the most beautiful baby girl I have ever seen. But everyone says that about their own, right?  I alomst left my husband  a while ago he cried and I came back. What a loser I am. I don't want to split the Family but sometimes I don't think being miserable the rest of my life is worth. And my children growing up hearing they're Father cus and call they're mother all sorts of obscene names. But isn't like 80% of the worlds marriage's like that anyway. Everyone is afraid of being alone that they would rather be with someone and be miserable. Then be alon and happy. It's weird how this world works. I'm speaking from the heart. How do  Itell my husband that I'm not in love with him anymore. That I would rather be alone than taking his bullshit for the rest of my life.

                          I was happy in the begining but as we grew older, we grew farther apart. The more time he spent in jail and prison and doing things behind my back. The more I fell out of love with him. Does anyone have any advise for me. the Reason i come to mindsay to say this is i need an outside view. Everyone i know is on myspace and i don't want them knowing what im thinking. Or how i m feeling because chances are my hunny will find out and leave me. Which he has already threatned me several times. YEt i put up with it. He packed all of his things one day and called a divorse lawyer and made an appointment. I told him if he's not really leaving me to unpack his shit right now and cancel that appointment. And if he does leave, don't come back if you're going to do this to me agian. Guess what? He did agian and again. What do I do. We told eachother this morning that we are not the people we fell in love with anymore. I grew up. I got off drugs and alcohol. but he is worst then he ever was.  It's sad that he's happier when he's using.  Someone please help me find happiness is the fucked up world.

                Peace,              

  Whitney

OK so I haven't been on this thing since they came up with myspace.  Well here I am now. I'm married to a wonderful man, and we have a beautiful child together. He's 4 1/2 months old now. I'm watching burnie mac right now. It's so sad that he died. You now my maiden name is McCullough. Crazy huh? I know nobody's probably ever gonna read this. gotta go.

   Peacce out.

  Whit

Have you ever met somebody for the first time and felt so comfortable around them, like you'vev known them forever? Well I have. A few times actually. But I never actually took the time to stop and think about it. I've realized many things. It's a wonder what thinking can do for you. jk. This is probably the happiest time of my life. I don't have to have friends  have fun but it definatly helps. I met this really amazing guy, he's the nicest guy I have ever met. Right now I am in Flordia having the time of my life. I just wish i could have brought someone with me. Oh well, 23 more days and i'll be back home in my mans arms. For those that really know me, how often do you see me happy.? Now that I have graduated I am better. Now all i need to worry about is geting in to college. Hopefully I  am more successful then my brothers were.  I don't think I could live like this, in my mom's  house no phone service, no cable tv, no nothin' the water here smells like sulfer, ughh.. it's nasty! I have to wash my hair with bottled water because this water here is from a well and it is some nasty ass shit, that I really don't want in my hair. Oh and this computer is driving me crazy! sometimes the "y" button doesn't work so I have to use the cut n' paste to use a "y". It seems to be working now, oh and this "backspace" button doesn't work all the time either, so if i want to erase something i have to highlight it and use the delete button. Grrrrrr!  Anyway, I 

Hey everybody,

Just a little update, Chris and I broke up!  I am now single and lovin it. When I graduate from high school, I am going to Florida do visit with my mom for a little while. I don't know exactly how long. If she'll let me use her computer, than I can still update. I don't know anymore. I just found out today that my ex boyfriend passed away recently, from brain trama or something. I haven't seen or heard from this guy for 3 years. And now he's dead. I've never had anyone that was really close to, die. Besides my dog. I cried. Sometimes I feel like I don't belong here. I want to leave this place forever. I only wish I could afford to. After I graduate I will. I really don't feel to happy today. It's just not a good day for me. Than another ex just called me recently. I've never been so happy to hear a guys voice. Oh by the way, my mom's getting me an internship with this lady that does Interior Design for a living. It's gonna be pretty awesome. But dad doesn't think that I will make a living off of it . I can't in Pocatello, but I can in Jacksonville. I'm gonna go eat lunch now, i'll talk to yal later.

Peace out friends and foes,

Whitney

Hey everbody,

  Today is a really bad day for me. Yesterday was my only day off this week, and I wasn't feeling to well, so I went to work out with some friends of mine, my boyfriend Chris, Alan, Kirk, and Selina, it was kinda fun, but not really!

   I used the treadmill and on the bicycle thing I but it on hill plus so I was going uphill. I did two 3 miles in 15 minutes, uphill, that's a new record for me. My heart rate was up to 195 beats per minute. I was pooped. After the bicycle I just walked around the mall for a while. I felt better after I exercised a little bit. But When I got home, and went to bed at ten a clock, at maybe about 12:30 am  Iwoke up because my chest was hurting like a mother fucker! I don't know what the deal was, but God damn it hurt like a bitch. I tossed and turned the whole damn night, I was pissed. I'm not even kidding, it hurt so bad I felt like I needed to punch sombody. But after I took some Tylenol and layed down on the couch it felt much better. I hate this day, my whole body aches, I'm kinda dizzy and I have a head ache. But what's new? All I do is complain! I need to knock it the hell off. Seriously!

  Anyway, yeah I can't wait til Spring Break, I'm going to Las Vegas and Disney Land.

peace out guys I'm tired as hell.

Whitney

The world is rough! No matter what the situation is, there will always be trouble, but in the end, we figure it out and we make the best of it. What am I talking about? Life! Life is precious, hard times come and go. Like many others, I to have hard times. Right now, my biggest problem is money! I love to have money, but I also love to spend money! For the past two or three months, I have not had any money, the job I was at was only working me once a week! I have bills to pay , I can't afford to lolly gag all the time.

            Sure it's a blast going bowling and to the movies and what not. But those things have to calm down a little. Right now I don't have much to do. I'm stuck at work everydamn day of my life! Because I screwed around too long, these past few months. I'd like to go out once in a while and just have some fun with my friends. Go to some party and watch all the stupid drunks make fools of theirselves, and bring a camera so I can show my friends all the stupid things they did, and embarass the shit out of them. That would be the shit. Sometimes I just want to escape, go on a vacation, and live a little. That's what I need right now! Enough about this crap, I have a freakin' migrane and i'm hungry so peace out mother fuckers!

Whitney

How far does a guy have to go? I mean  honestly, why won't he just give up? Why won't he leave me alone? Why is he doing this to me? My ex- boyfriend, that thought he was gonna marry me and live with me, and have my children, won't leave me alone. What can I do?  I hate guys sometimes, not all, but most. For instance, my current boyfriend is the most sweetest guy i've ever met. It's only been a month and a half, I hope he doesn't change like everybody else. He's so sweet to me. He may be obbsesed with titties, but what guy isn't?

   It treats me so good, I couldn't ask for anybody else. But anyway, John is an asshole.  I didn't brake up with him because he's an asshole, because  I can't handle long distance relationships.

Hey guys I just put a new pic up. Do you like it? If not let me know and I will change it. That's all for now, got to go do some laundry.

      Laters

 Whitney

Hey guys what's going on?  I'm just sitting here in the Library at Century High School just kickin' it back and relaxin'.  Life is fucking awesome right now! I just got out of life ruining situation and I'm pickin' up my feet and startin' fresh. I'm changing life style quite a bit. So those who have known me for a long time might notice a few different things about me. I died my hair again, it's 4n if your in hair styling school than you'd know what i'm talking about. it's a dark brown, almost black, but not quite. I need to update my picture I will do that as soon as I can get some more film for my camera. Sometimes I just wish I can leave the world for a little while, like a long as hybernation. That's why I like bears, because they don't have a care in the world. I would just love to disapear for a while. Get away from all of the people that anoy me. Not everybody just a few people. I don't want to leave my friends behind. Sometimes I just need to be alone. Well there I go again, rambling about nothing. The only thing I really care about right now is my boyfriend and my school work. Right now I'm looking for a better job, I want to keep the one I have right now, But I also want  another job so I can have more money, I applied at Deleta and Mountain West. I don't know if  I would enjoy working at Mountain West all that well, but at least I would  be able to make my own schedule and take whatever days off that I want. I don't like talking on the phone all that much, but atleast its a headset that I would get to wear.

             The weird thing is, i'm still friend with four of my Ex-boyfriends. One, I don't even remember dating, the second, I have been friends with since Kidnergarden, and the other one I only dated for two days, so I didn't get attached to him, thank "joe peshie" because he's one of the best male friends that I have. He actually has respect for me.

           He watches out for me sometimes, and my friends, that are females. That's cool I guess.  I am so broke right now. Seriously, I'm going broke trying to pay for my cell phone. My Ex- boyfriend was supposed to pay for it, but he never payed a dime on it. The only thing he had  done was talk to the customer service and yalled at them or some shit like that. The beel is going to ring soon so I think I'm going to go eat something. 

  Later peeps!

       Whitney